I was leaving my sister to work today about 6:30 am and I still had a far way to go to get to school. During this month I feel really depressed about myself, I feel like a life loser. On a way back, I put loudly on Metallica-For Whom the bell tolls and accelerate to feel rush, feel bit alive but still angry of who I am. Someone behind me was driving really close with his nice Mercedes so I decided to keep up even thou I’m driving a Clio. I was doing about 80 mph, that car was still close behind me and I totaly forgot about fact that roads in the morning are frosty… when I approached sharp turn I didnt think of slowing down. Then I felt my car sharply sliding to other side of road. I never slide before with my car and not at such a speed. I only start driving for 3-4 months. In my head however, somehow I know how to correct the slide and turned wheel really fast into slide, the car though slide unto other direction and than I had to do it quickly again and than again… there was car coming from another turn, whoever was driving that car they had no idea I lost control over my car. I was sure I’m going to crash, kill myself and probobly people in car driving on the other side. Suprisingly I managed to straight my car up without a scratch. I drove bit further realy slow, stopped on the side, start smoking and I realise how stupid I am and now feel even worse about myself. I dont know what to do with myself, theres noone I can speak to heart to heart, tell them how I really feel and get help from them.
Today, I was driving back from college to return my mother’s truck. We’d swapped vehicles for a week because my car was having some work done at home. It was a very cold day, with some mist in the air. I was traveling down a road with some extreme curves, on a pretty steep descent. The radio was on, but I can’t quite remember what song was playing. As I was rounding a sharp turn, I noticed I was going too fast. I started to put on the brakes into the turn when I felt a slide coming on. The rear end of the truck wanted to go in one direction but I was turning it the other. Harder I pressed on the brakes as I turned more to my side of the street. For a split second, everything seemed fine. You know how your thoughts move at the speed of light in certain moments? I remember thinking to myself, “Man, I need to be more careful, I almost lost control.” At that moment, my over-correction became apparent as the back of the truck swung out from behind me. I slammed the brakes, turned hard, and I was in a complete drift, sliding across the lane. Luckily for me, and for other drivers, no cars were coming either way. The truck made a complete 180, and I was able to look down over the hill I was about to tumble into. It looked incredibly steep and long. I saw trees, some thick, some thin, and remember thinking, “Maybe they’ll stop me, maybe I won’t go all the way down.” No, that didn’t make sense, and still drifting, still spinning and sliding, I realized I was going to die. I looked away, held the steering wheel, and braced for the roll down the hill.
The truck was caught on a guard rail of steel wire. I hung there, perched precariously, for about fifteen minutes before the fire department came. I was too scared to get out of the vehicle, afraid that movement alone might send the truck over the hill. The fireman assured me I wasn’t the first, not even of the day. He scraped his boot along the road and said, “It’s slicker than snot out here today.”
I ate a catfish sandwich and a baked potato this evening, my First Supper, if you will. I watched Oliver Stone’s JFK, and on the fiftieth anniversary of his assassination, I now can’t help but wonder what his final thoughts were as he was riding through Dealey Plaza. I’m sure they weren’t the realization that he was about to die. And for that, I envy him, just so very slightly - I know I am extremely lucky to have survived my brush with death, to come home to my family, and yet that feeling, that thought of, “I am going to die, here it comes,” is something I never want to feel again.
Thank you all for your time.
I was walking home through Manhattan tonight (approx. 1 hour ago to be exact) and had stopped at a light on 57th & 2nd Avenue. The moment the light changed and I stepped into the crosswalk, a black car with front-tinted window came out of nowhere towards me like an assassin’s bullet. The car came close enough to me I could make out the name of the air freshener tree dangling from the rear view mirror (“Royal Pine”) despite the tinting; I couldn’t make out a figure though. The brakes screeched and the tires smoked as the vehicle ran about halfway into the crosswalk. In all my 7 years living in NYC, I’ve never had a brush with a deadly collision… it’s frightening. The strangest detail is that moments after I had completed crossing the street and was damning myself for not taking a photo of the perp’s plates, I was approached by a guy on the street who was taken by my Knicks fitted. He claimed he was a “die-hard” fan who had been in prison and had his lip slashed open because of his enthusiasm while watching a game with rival inmates. Now, I couldn’t really keep my focus in light of recent events, so I distractingly entertained his story wondering what this guy’s motives were. He properly introduced himself (I think his name was Jalal or Jalid) with a handshake and asked mine, his introduction making me slightly apprehensive. Nonetheless, I asked him about his top player and offered him my opinion about team politics. He then asked how I was doing, to which I answered alright, despite almost dying. I didn’t elaborate and he didn’t inquire further. Then, strangely he introduced himself again and asked my name redundantly. After our second intros, I politely wished goodnight which was met with a friendly response and went back to my route. I can’t shake that strange exchange from my memory and I’m left wondering if this ex-con was a form of “angel” checking on me. I mean, he didn’t save my life, but I was reminded how some people can run amok in this frenzied city and hurt others, while some choice others seek camaraderie with their neighbors. And why repeat his name twice? Mental amnesia? He didn’t seem under the influence of anything so I think that may have been significant. In the Bible, God addressed someone by calling their name twice (http://www.tikkunministries.org/newsletters/mm-jan12.php). Im not writing this to sound liturgical since Im not a very good Christian (non-practicing), but it’s interesting since I believe there are psychic messengers present all around us.
I tried cutting across a signal, and a huge truck almost T-boned me. It missed by a few metres tops. The cops stopped me, but atleast I survived to tell the tale.
I was driving with a friend and I looked to my left for a split second, when she suddenly yells out “oh my god!” and braced for impact. A person driving a minivan did not stop at the stop sign when merging into traffic on my right hand side. I was able to brake in time, but had she not said anything I would have hit the car traveling at 40+ mph. I can’t stop thinking about how close I was to wrecking my car and possibly hurting/killing myself or someone else.
I hit a pickup truck broadside that turned left in front of me. I was going 60mph and had impact in less than a second. I didn’t have time to think I was about to die or even to take my foot off the accelerator. The impact bent the frame and broke the axle on the pickup and destroyed the front end and entire body of my car. The steel frame around the passenger compartment and airbags in my car plus my seat belt saved me. I walked away with a couple of bruises and muscle soreness. My car was a 2013 Fiat Abarth.
I went to my friends house to drop off a desert for her, something to cheer her up because she was sick. Right when I left her house I ran back to the car and left. On Instagram, I checked and there was a murder happening upstairs of her apartment, if I hadn’t ran, who knows what would of happened…
Last night I had a lot to drink, I live alone. The details are a bit fuzzy but when i woke up, i had passed out on the floor near my couch and i started coughing, there was a lot of black smoke. My head was spinning as i went to the kitchen and saw that my microwave was on fire. I got a pot and filled it with water and put out the fire. The timer on the microwave was at 78:30 remaining. Inside the microwave was a whole loaf of wonder bread, burned and melted and still wrapped in plastic. Im not sure how this could have happened ive never put myself in danger like that, but a few more moments asleep and I would have never woken up. I am very shaken and just keep thinking about how easily ones life can end.
I called and signed up for rehab for alcohol abuse.
Im going to change my life